CUSCO: The Gateway to Inner Wisdom
I was ready. The panic in the pit of my stomach had transformed into a hollowness waiting to be filled. Seventeen of us sat in a circle on the ground in a makeshift soccer field carved out of the Peruvian jungle. The ayahuascero poured his tea-colored brew into a glass and each of us drank it. The taste was bitter, strong and earthy.
I sat on my mat and waited for the unknown, consciously relaxing my senses and releasing my physical tension. Soon the jungle noises rang in my ears like wind chimes, tinkling bells. In my mind’s eye, flecks of color and shapes danced to this strange music I was hearing. My hands began to tingle and my head to spin. I took a deep breath and reminded myself to surrender and trust. Immediately an inner dialogue started that lasted for the duration of my amazing journey.
The voices I heard were my own levels of consciousness as well as wisdom guides, messengers, and loudest of all, God Herself. All were communicating with me, simultaneously. I was disoriented in my body and all my senses, yet capable of discerning and understanding all the messages at once. Nothing was normal. Many voices were talking me through what was happening, so I wouldn’t be afraid. I heard the female voice of God so clearly and felt her presence so close as to be connected, with nothing separating us.
Then I felt nauseous. After checking with all my guides, I finally got up to move from the circle to the edge of the woods to throw up. I threw up the ayahuasca, which was the only thing in my stomach, but continued to dry heave for what felt like an hour. During those choking coughs, I saw worlds and civilizations of horrors that needed purging. I understood things about human nature and evolution and transformation that I couldn’t begin to explain in words. However, it gave this awful physical purging a dimension that felt healing and purposeful.
Eventually I moved back toward the group to rejoin the circle. The conversations and insights continued to flow. God remained with me. When we got to the subject of my intention I heard her say, “I know you want to see where you will be next and what you will be doing. I want to show you but it depends on you. It depends on what you choose.” Just then, I heard a noise and opened my eyes. I saw a tall man standing behind the ayahuascero. It wasn’t a man exactly but more like the ghost of a man, a bit transparent. I asked God, “Who is that?” and She answered, “It’s part of your future. This man. But it depends on you. What do you want?”
“Where is this man? I want to meet him.”
“There is a man who will be at the Conference in Urubamba. He is a very wise person, who has many things to teach you. And he will love you very much. He is like no one you have ever met before. But know that if you choose this, everything else in your life will change. Is that what you want?”
I took a deep breath. “Yes, that is what I want.”
“OK. He will be there. And you don’t need to look for him. He will find you.”
The effects of the ayahuasca were becoming milder. My senses were feeling more familiar. The voices were quieting down. In their place was a profound love. Love so deep and wide, I simply floated in it.
Know that if you choose this, everything else in your life will change.
And it did.